Three years ago this May I broke my foot off. When I say “off”, I’m not exaggerating. It’s amazing to me, that I’m able to write about it, which is also part of the reason that “I am” writing about it because I can. Supposedly, I’m still getting over it.
For sure it was one of those things of such monumental drunken stupidity, that the psychological scars will take a lifetime to heal, and maybe then some….
Up until that fateful day in May, I had never spent a night in a hospital and then in one moment of altered-mind ignorance, I earned my first ten. Someday I’ll write more about that unbelievable experience (as I recover from it) but suffice it to say, that I was forever changed by it, in more ways than one smashed ankle with eleven new parts and pieces. My humble pie had been served.
To make matters worse, for the first time in my life I was an invalid. Just take a look at that word – in=un “valid” – it’s not a good distinction to wrap your head around. There’s a significant amount of shock involved with what I had done to myself. This new reality, for me, required large doses of patience with triple doses of self-reflection. Whenever I hear the name or voice of Alan Watts, I forever will be reminded of that period of my life because listening to his recorded lectures became a daily action of my mental therapy.
The first six months of physiotherapy was nothing compared to the intense self-analysis, the crushing reality of not being able to walk (at all at first), plus a guarantee, at best, of a club-foot for the rest of my life. This was a mighty blow for an alpha male ego. The depths of my depression hit all-time record levels, despite the fact that the healing and recovery starting happening at the same moment that the bones broke. It’s true, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
One thing prompted me to tell my “humble pie” story, is that I’ve been recording allot of video and producing a daily VLOG on YouTube and in my films you can notice my limp, or perhaps me more that the audience. None the less, I’ll embed the video below and you can see for yourself, when I walk through the street fair in Sao Paulo, it’s difficult for me to carry the camera smoothly because of the limp, a daily reminder, of my humble pie.